20 August 2008

Wondering the Piazza


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Wearing it on my sleeve



Life

Let's try not to get ahead of things here.
"There is nothing to regret", thats a constant reminder for myself.

First off, I think I still have problems letting go ... of personal gripes and issues. Certain quirks that possibly cause me minor distress. Emotional maladies I could do without

But it's getting better. It's an inching effort but I feel less guilt about letting go than I would have a year ago. That's some progress, no?

On the theatre front - I'm a little in the air about who I'm keeping in touch with in the aftermath of leaving
.
Work

Shuffling into my new job alright, I think. The past 2 months has been been an adjustment. Turns out changing jobs is as painful a transition as insects on your wind-shield on the speedway.
Annoying, but incriminatingly vision wrecking.

Let's add whip cream and a cherry on top.
I'm not even sure wether I've done tight by going back into advertising. It feels no different than it was years before. I may be better but on a personal level, it feels like I've not gone anywhere.

My boyfriend (I'll get to that) - suggests Visual Merchandizing.
I'll do some research.

Art

Definitely in a slump. No excuses there.
The Art Initiative fell through, well I did keep optimistic. no?
Personal art projects - well .... besides spending a whole collective time of 30 minutes through a stretch of a week doing something.
Yea, its not going anywhere.
Neither is my RPG game.

Though Elton's doing a decent job GM'ing 4th ed. !
Not a strong supporter but there are aspects to the 4th ed. that I really like!

Gym

Definitely some progress here, and I'll be attributing these to consistency if nothing else. Although, I feel little change , I've been informed there is a more visible one from the folks outside.
Good eh, but I think I need to step up on on the routines and weight - so I can feel the difference instead. I'm certainly a little heavier but I'm not sure if its all muscle.

I know my diet sucks right now because I can't control the lunch menu most of the time (there's a hired cook in the new office).
Who won't be staying long ... Love

Yea this is the juicy part. yes?

I think its love. There's a greater expectancy ... a stronger gut feeling that I'm out to lose more if I lose him. A deeper sense of involvement.
And its only the second month.

I met Julian after commenting on a random photo of a theatre acquaintance on Facebook. Yea, its the whole "What a bunch of temptingly good looking guy!" - or something that that effect.

Julian responded in an e-mail because he was still unfamiliar with how to reply to the photo comment.

And thats when the e-mail exchanges began. And I loved it.
Its was hard enough finding people to write you e-mails rather than notes, and it was long involved e-mails that asked questions, listened to answer and responded in kind.

There's not much else I can say happened in between. maybe too much, but it will hold little relevance to anyone but us. Suffice to say, and against all my feelings about flash-fire romances ... we starting dating.

We may be different but it seems through an through, the more we discover about each other the more alike we want to live our lives. In different directions maybe, but with the same drive and intention. And we respect out differences.

And he allows me to be affectionate with him in public.
Not for the meek-minded, but I'm very physical in public I'm always holding his waist when we walk and holding him close on the escalators. And he feels at home. I think thats the best part, the comfort he feels with me.

Ok, thats enough for today.



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A little rusty on Prose but here goes ...
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Snails pace,
Snails race
Ne'er sore

Man's tall,
Man's fall,
from grace

Fire's burn
Minds discern
I wonder where it all went.

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

ZOMG AN UPDATE! :-P

Congrats on the new job...maybe. Hope it does better for you than your last stint in advertising.

consistency when it comes to going to the gym REALLY helps. Going back to Malaysia for sai's wedding broke my routine, and eventhough it's been about 4 months now I still haven't managed to get back into a proper routine.

Things with Julian sound VERY interesting. OK, so thats the dirt o the two of you, now give us a little more detail about him. Whats he do for a living and stuff like that.

Syar said...

Things are sounding optimistic! Cautiously so, but optimistic nonetheless. I'm really glad to hear this update from you, Gary.

And also, yay for you, re:Love! That is so awesome. I'm happy for you. :)

Pooookah said...

on the job front? Hard sometimes to predict how shittyy the company might turn out or the people in there, much so with donkeys running the place!

Not unless you are psychi or can read mind... gosh, can you imagine the horror you did find out? :-d

mmmhmm..nice place... Banogkok.. visit again..hehehehe...

it is good that you found your corner of happiness...in this day and age, we are greedy and take what comes our way...sans a bit of shovelling along the way!

anyhow, perhaps the industry has made us so jaded and bored...advertising isn't so damn glamorous as we thought it was nor as "creative" .... what a pathetic use of word!

hmm..what else can I do? too fat for amateur porn... or be a hustler.. might not have the head for figures, so can't reslly open my own shop or can I? :-d

that silly girl Anne... now her dad wants us to get an office lot in amcorp mall coz he sais it looks more professional that way.... hello! think about the budget lah!!

sigh...

ah well.. the weekend is here... tee hee!!

G said...

Rav'n

A job is a job - just casting a wider net before I get too old to experiment with my pay anymore.

I think I'm in the midst of changing my routine at the gym I think. Pushing myself a bit harder. Have to personally find when its time to push a little harder or the body will just get used to the same old thing. Also making a stronger conscious effort about the food I'm eating. I think thats the trickiest by far.

Julian - Right now, he's an Asia Sourcing Manager for a Export of Furniture to the US in a company in Ampang. He's on the lookout for a better job too as well. He's the major bread-winner for his family since his parents still work and his brother is studying his final year overseas. I respect him for that and I remind him of how much it means to me that he does that.
That is when we're not day-dreaming of getting out own place out of the house :D

Julian's the gentle kind, but he's able to take a stand when he needs to. Another endearing quality. He's talkative for sure, that that wonderful to listen and exchange ideas with and we both agree, its good to have out own personal lives outside each other. Its just means we have more to bring to the table now as individuals

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Syar

I wouldn't say optimistic. I think ... its a bit like, hopeful practicality.
Let's hope there's a dash of uncommon sense in there too.

And thank you for the Hurrahs! :D

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Hey Poooookah - What happened?

Where's your friggin-dildo account? If you logged in your Blogspot, you'd automatically be able to post under your name (hehehehe).

So Vinnie, Bangkok seems to have invigorated you. I'm pretty sure it given you some much needed peace of mind but from the looks of it, maybe also a little more clarity on where you are in your relationship. Big love, right :p ?

I certainly hope, the thing (business) with Anne takes off in some direction.
I do think you could learn quite well to handle a shop / business of your own (sans numbers) if you were taking the chance - but that just my confidence in you talking (hehehehe)

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Anonymous said...

yeah. eating healthy is soooo bloody hard.

sounds like you and Julian do have a few things in common. I'm really happy for you G. I hope this ends up being everything you want it to be. you seam to have settled into yourself a fair bit in the last few years as well. so maybe on a personal level you're in a better place and (more) ready for a relationship like this as well?

G said...

Rav'N

Eating healthy - ... is weird.
One week its fine to eat this - then next month its not anymore :p
Not to mention the change of budget puts my off and the body gets all these weird cravings :/

I wont count the chickens before they hatch but thus far - Julian is doing right by me, and I by him. If his response to my affection is what I'm going by, I think i'm doing the boyfriend stint a pretty good turn.

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Anonymous said...

*kiss*

:)

Loong said...

Congratulations on work and love!