-----City bred
I grew up by the beach everyday. And I suppose on some level, I should feel this association to beach living - everyone says they connect with their childhood memories best. If nothing else, you see the wonder and fascination in most people (foreigners and locals alike) concerning this place where sea meets the shore, land has its public rondeaveau with the waters.
But I feel drawn to the cities.
It feels natural.
Even when I'm alone.
Last night
In the rain.
In my bed.
I wept for David. Last night as I lay down to sleep, I thought of love and he came to mind. I guess you never really forget your first love. He's been imbibed so deeply inside me, I know that sometimes, no matter how much I am open-minded and acceptable to every new person and quirks they bring ... i should never compare with the first.
But I know on some level, I am looking for that spark again.
The qualities in a man I had loved, and I'm searching for that again.
Is it unfair to those later on, perhaps ... or maybe I just know what right for me.
I prayed for him, for his happiness, for someone to take care of him and for them to love him just as I still do. Fondly.
Now
I am working on myself now. I cannot ponder on who I wish to be with or get 'into the game'. I have to work on myself first. I should exhibit and practise the principles in myself before searching for them.
But I've heard we often seek the qualities we also don't have in another person. So if I instill the qualities I want in a man in myself, then what do I look for later? Maybe something new, something ... to make me grow beyond. I don't know.
I have to try.
I work from within.
---
I grew up by the beach everyday. And I suppose on some level, I should feel this association to beach living - everyone says they connect with their childhood memories best. If nothing else, you see the wonder and fascination in most people (foreigners and locals alike) concerning this place where sea meets the shore, land has its public rondeaveau with the waters.
But I feel drawn to the cities.
It feels natural.
Even when I'm alone.
Last night
In the rain.
In my bed.
I wept for David. Last night as I lay down to sleep, I thought of love and he came to mind. I guess you never really forget your first love. He's been imbibed so deeply inside me, I know that sometimes, no matter how much I am open-minded and acceptable to every new person and quirks they bring ... i should never compare with the first.
But I know on some level, I am looking for that spark again.
The qualities in a man I had loved, and I'm searching for that again.
Is it unfair to those later on, perhaps ... or maybe I just know what right for me.
I prayed for him, for his happiness, for someone to take care of him and for them to love him just as I still do. Fondly.
Now
I am working on myself now. I cannot ponder on who I wish to be with or get 'into the game'. I have to work on myself first. I should exhibit and practise the principles in myself before searching for them.
But I've heard we often seek the qualities we also don't have in another person. So if I instill the qualities I want in a man in myself, then what do I look for later? Maybe something new, something ... to make me grow beyond. I don't know.
I have to try.
I work from within.
---
1 comment:
City bred
I'd prefer to live beside a waterfall or by the sea any given time. I hate the crowd and the clinical environment of the cities ...
Last night
It's ok to reminisce I suppose. I do that a lot when I'm depressed or faced with problems I dun wanna face! Anyways, I wish, pray and hope you'll get what you want, dear.
Now
There was a time I try to convince myself to be the Mr. Right if I'm supposed to find a fellow Mr. Right i.e. the kinda man that jumps out of Health™. Hahahaha! So I din become what I hope to become, and I din find the object of my desire. Hell, I've settled for this: if anyone is supposed to love me, I comes with a tummy! XD Well, you're all skin and bones, so I don't suppose you understand my feelings. :'P
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