The world gone square

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Delusions
Just when you think you're doing someone a favour and I think I did a pretty darn good job on the concept and poster, ... its not what they want. Shit.
Well, be a little clearer in the initial brief then. Really. Its helps.
It may not go a long way, but it'll add a few more hours to your rapidly dwindling time on earth.
No, really.

More delusions
Just when you think its sound advice, it really has no place in the bigger picture.
"Dont assume, it makes an ass of you and me". - sounds like a pretty decent piece of drivel, like any of Murphy's laws; but its flawed. No professional jon doesnt rely on certain assumptions, large or small.
You have to give a guess, an estimate before you can spread the date across. You have to create a range (thats an estimate mostly) before deciding it its close enough to the results YOU were looking for.
You have to 'psychically' link on the other-awareness of your clients, and KNOW what they're talking about.
Oh gosh, you didn't know that?
You should have assumed.
And then we'll all get some ass.
Hopefully me.

Remarkably snails pace
There's still a lot of my plate.
Professionally speaking, I guess I'm catching up. Work-wise and all.
Personally, art-wise ... I'm not doing so good. While I do know I have to get to it. There's so much going on at work and outside ... it ... well, no one said it was easy, no?
Its a personal ethic I suppose. My work ethic is healthy ... as far as I know, but my personal art ethics fluctuate at best. Shit, there's still so much to do.
I don't even know if finance comes into it.
Would I do / finish / accomplish the deed sooner if I knew I was paid? Should it fit into the equation? Would it matter?

Birthday Boys
Was at Zamir's birthday Karaoke bash last week.
Finally chatted a few momoments with Ezra. Yea, only reason I remember the name is coz of the band 'Better than Ezra'. Cool.
Anyways, although I think I was somewhat drunk off my ass (and being apparently anti-social since I didn't know anyone there ... and was drinking off my ass) - I remember him chatting with me.
Oh my .... I know his cousin Rafael. Raf is a decent and cool guy who's in Labuan working now. Totally straight.
This Ezra dude, he's totally straight acting as far as I'm concerned ... ok, to the point, the MOST straight-perceived behaviour in the room.
What a hottie!
Too durnk to take home numbers.
But I havent forgotten, ... I am taking a break from relationships. I'm totally open to friends still, but the occiasional hot hook-ups and stuff, but nothing dedicated or committed. I'm stil tryign to focus on improving myself this year. And I'm still no saint of chasity.

Starcraft 2 is out soon enough, and Transformers the movie is coming out as well.
Geekdom is sure to rear its dorky head soon.
Woo hoo!

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Prose

I feel absolutely crass.
Crude and disillusioned by my own procrastination. But I'll learn to separate myself. Divide in the middle the indecision - the misfortune of not knowing the difference between excuse and reason. Between the tenous gap of convenience and suffocating time restraints.
I could wish to be a bird.
For the concept of freedom, the mawing depth of reality tells me that a bird is simply a bird, uncomplicated and mostly unrewarding in its peril without fortuitious forethought.
I could wish to be a fish, succulent and a future on a chef's palate ... maybe not.
I could fill my pillow with wishes and sleep on them for nights onward to end and wake in disappointment every morning, rivalling and marvelling the ocean blue expanse of desparation and a sense of quiet horror.
There is humour somwhere.
I might find it, or you may have to help me look.
Either way, its going to taste bile I know.
Life does that, spice the world in bile and bitterness - this aging thing, is not an antidote to youth. Its a poison, a necessary one as they call it.
Suck it up, I tell myself.
And suck hard.
My lips will savour nothing else.