Sucked Six Below

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Lamentations
I've written of this before, I'm certain. But its comes to pass once again.
An dear aunt who's been treasured in my family for most of my remembered life is on her deathbed. Cancer is attacking the bones, I'm told.
At her age, there's little we can go but wait.

So there it is.
The Annual Death Toll is collected.
Every year, a relative passes on. And though I've said to myself and to others (and heard it from them too) - I am of that age where these things happen.
Well ... its not something can prepare for or look forward, much less guard against every time it happens.

How now, aging cow?

Connections
I'm pretty sure this state of mind will seep into most aspects of my life, of particular notice will be my work.
I'm on the verge of saying 'tough luck', but this sort of family thing gets to me all the time.

I always did wish as a kid I wasn't truly related by blood to anyone. All the better to detach or severe myself whenever I need to. I don't wish them ill or death, just a selfish ease for myself to get things by.

Its true
... what I've read about me. In some cosmic collection of Western and Eastern astrology - the Horse always needs the open (at least the opportunity or the window open), and the Fish cannot stay too long in one place or stagnant in doing so.
It applies mentally and emotionally, I guess.

To survive,need I move on? ... Escape?
It is braver to stand and fight or to choose to live another day?

Or is this simply a weird eventually of me turning 30 in a few months.

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Prose

What kind of relation can I establish with the modern world if I can't figure out how to use modern day devices?
How disconnected can one be, in the world thats growing smaller digitally every new tech-savvy release?
I fear that one day, I will use a mouse and choke the poor rodent to death wondering why it squeaks when I click it, or linger in amazement at the size of the spider's nest to be able to build a world wide web for the layman to surf on.
I feel like that sometimes.
It's difficult being the only parrot with short term memory.
I will ponder on the fact as I continue working the phones.
I need this job, and its the only one I'm good at.
Employee of the month.
At the Microsoft Help Centre.