-------Survival
The horrors of getting to work in a new environment - even if you're still doing the same job.
Gettting used to the 'system' or the way it works.
Sigh.
Every place has their own way of working. Its this horrifying placement of seeing if you can bring anything new and useful to the table or adapting what you need to the way they've always worked things.
Shit.
Very very hard.
While I can maintain a stance as to how and why they need to operate the way they do, with less than necessary staff, multiple job tasks and cutting corners and costs (like proof-readers+sample sheet from printers), it majorly sucks to only slowly understand the nuances of how they work AFTER a costly blunder is made. And when it rains ... it pours.
What I hate is being ...
what is that word - told things that begin with "... in my x numbers of years of experience, it hasn't been done and a lot of companies these days don't even do them". Well then, its OBVIOUS I've had different experiences then ISN"T IT!
And my experiences should count for something, even if I've ONLY done this for 5 years.
Double dung.
Its so easy to just go Fuck it all! You haven't even given me my damned confirmation letter and I'll be damned if you think you can hang it over my head!
But I've to give the benefit of the doubt.
And I've got to try and stretch this out as long as I can.
There are benefits here otherwise and it would do me well to reap them regardless of conflicts in ethics, style and structure.
Triple Feces.
Though I do somewhat understand that the previous designer left for the reason there' was too much pressure, I also think he had NO IDEA things can also get this bad.
Crap.
Perseverence
Its testing - and never easy. Gotta stick it through, if i can maintain this pay for a whole year, I'll be a happy camper and I'll have a better asking price when I move to my next job. Yes, ... oh yes. I believe I've mentioned things before. This isn't the career track for me.
Its good opportunity to build up a decent base pay to work from for my next job and for some glory name-mongering. Working for a non-proft as well as a Dato'.
That should buy me some nice shiny credits.
I just got to stick it out now ...
I need to find a vice and FAST!
Smoke, drink, drugs .... something!!!
Forgive the dark dark dark dark poetry.
---
Prose
Poising little angry snake
In the grass of golden hair.
Sneaky fangs of spite and malice
Watching prey, so unaware.
Coiling liquid sneaky snake
Flaring tongue and lips.
Snare my soul and stop my heart
Bury where my body sleeps.
Slipping scales of coloured lies
So quiet as a whisper.
Unseen bile, deceiving smile
No conscience breeds, unfetter.
Gaping maw, two inches wide
To swallow whole, the child.
Stinking phrase of sinking praise
Holding court before the trial.
Venomous string of honeyed words
Luxuriant song of comfort.
Lulled into the waiting trap
Dirge of death in concert.
Unblinking amber eyes so still
Mesmerized beyond the ages.
Caught up in the sins of time
No difference the visages.
Speck of drought in rainy fields
Snatched the youth of innocence.
Cradled by the weeping willows
Dust and shine till brilliance.
Mother fed the eating mouth
Father took its hand.
Led to stray descending south
Messages of hope, a sham.
The child in darkness sitting cold
In the hollow of the throat.
Awaiting sentence, judge and jury
Breathless save the weeping note.
Seductive scales of glittered lies
So smooth the skin of choice.
No clarion call, announce at all
The deed, dark, red and moist.
Sleeping swarthy sated snake
Hoarding every truth.
Rest upon my sullen tomb
On the bed of wrinkled youth.
Sleeping fat bemusing snake
In the depth of graves.
Remind the child beneath you
The horror that you gave.
---
5 comments:
I LIKE! and so true too. Wish I could write half as well as you can.
sorry you're having such a bad time at work. sounds like some pretty sucky business going on.
"... in my x numbers of years of experience, it hasn't been done and a lot of companies these days don't even do them"
doesn't mean its not a good idea to do whaterver it is thats in question there. if everybody worked on the theory of "nobody else does it so I shouldn't either" where in the world would innovation, or progress, come from?
Rav'n
Well I guess all I gotta do is just bear it. Heck - I really should just sit this one through and keep doing my job until someone fires me or something. Seriously.
Its pretty good pay, and so work and work hours are a little shitty. But a year of this can bag me a pretty good job when I leave.
As long as I can try to keep my sanity afloat, but its probably a lot easier than I'm ranting about. I just have to focus a but more and develop a very .... VERY thick hide.
Well besides the poem being fueled by the moment of what I was feeling, it was a technical test too.
I wanted to learn to write a full (fuller, anyways) piece unlike the shorter ones I was getting used to. A full construction which delivered an entire story in its whole.
There were three sections, which each consisting of four uhmmm, stanzas.
The first section was the stage setting and introduction. The second was the filling and flavor. The third and last section was the closing, which I reused the structure and content very similar to the opening section.
... and I mean this in the most shocked and amazed way - during my reading a month ago or so, an older author was surprised to find I only started writing my stuff in less than a year ago ... and that they were mostly first drafts with little to no editing.
Isn't that weird?
---
the structure and narrative in the poem was quite obvious and, I think, very well done.
some of the best poetry I've read (and I readily admit that my tastes are not the usual compared to most poetry enthusiasts) comes from people like you that just write something on the fly with little editing, if any... I hate you people :P
least u still have your job!
i think they need you for now...seeing how it would be frustrating just trying to look for another designer now!
like u said... bear it out.. if they look like they dun appreciate you anymore.. just jump! :-d
Rav'n
Well, uh, thank you then.
Ah - and I so agree, hate doth come from a place of passion.
So (( hugs )) !
FrigginDildo
Shit - tonight we celebrate your release from that horrid place then! Chocolate night!!!
And yea - i'm kinda milking it anyways. Whatever shitty problems they give me, I also know they can't afford to fire me now. At least not until the work goes down ... wayyyy down.
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